The Asylum
by Hibiko Caprali
Summary: What exactly happens when you get invited for a whole year to the house of a crazy girl with an even more crazy yami? That's what Ryou, Bakura, and the Yu-Gi-Oh gang are about to find out! Pairings: RxB, SxJ, MxM, YxY, AxM... Yaoi and Yuri!


Hibiko: waves Hey y'all! Whee..Ow! Baka! -is hit by Kib-

Kib: Hibi, you're stupid.

Hibiko: Allow me to introduce myself..Hibiko, rabid Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfic author, Ryou and Bakura obsessor, fangirl extraordinaire!

Kib: Ahem..clears throat

Hibiko: And my yami, Kib.

Ryou: Uh..so what do I do now, Hibi-san?

Hibiko: It's simple, Ryou. Just give them the disclaimer..

Bakura: Yeah, Hibiko. Really simple.

Kib: Don't talk to my hikari like that..

Hibiko & Ryou: Uh-oh.

Bakura: Bitch!

Kib: Shut the fuck up!

Ryou: Uh, yeah..Hibi doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, otherwise it would be very..gay.

Hibi: Yep, that it would. Excuse typing errors, as I have fallen and broken my finger and now the damned thing's in a bunch of bandaged which I'm gonna take off now..

Warning: YAOI! Dun like, dun read. Main pairing is Ryou/Bakura, duh. Also with Yami/Yugi, Malik/Marik, Seto/Joey, and Anzu/Mai. Fluffy bits here and there. Excessive swearing! Wh00t!

Chapter One: Come on!

Ryou woke up from his afternoon nap to the familiar growls of Bakura outside. He looked out of the window upon rising from bed and laughed. Bakura was chasing the mailman, who was cussing like NOBODY'S business.

"Get the fuck away from me, you shit infested god-damn hippy..weirdo gay guy!" The mailman screamed. Bakura simply growled, "I will rip your bones from your body, grill your muscles, remove your intestines and use your blood as a mosturizer for my hair!"

Ryou stared. That was a little weird, seeing as Bakura had never done that before. It was always, "Get outta here before I stab you with a straw!" or "Fuck you, Mailman-man!" And wouldn't using the mailman's blood stain Bakura's hair _pink_? Ryou giggled to himself and leaned out of the window.

"Yami, come in! Please leave the mailman alone!" Ryou chirped rather cheerfully before shutting the window. Humming Avril Lavigne's 'Complicated' he changed and skipped downstairs only to trip over..

"A stool? What the hell is a stool doing here?" Ryou asked himself loudly, righting his three-legged attacker and then stopping. He picked it up and flung it across the living room, where it crashed through the window and hit something that uttered an angry and pained, "HOLY SHIT!" in a familiar voice. Ryou turned pale and then forced a smile onto his face, diving under the table. Bakura came crashing into the kitchen, waving the stool and around in one hand and nursing his head with the other.

"What the hell was that! Ryou, where are you? Someone threw a stool at me!...RYOU!" Bakura screamed, oblivious to the blue-sock clad foot poking out from under the table. Until he tripped over it, of course. Having done so Bakura went flying and his head landed in the sink. While trying to pull himself out his hand flipped on the hot water tap and he slipped. "HOLY SHIT!" Bakura screamed for the second time in two minutes. Ryou crawled cautiously out from under thetable and sweatdropped at the sight of Bakura screaming about how whoever created sinks should be damned to hell (with his head still in the sink) and sighed. He wrapped his arms around Bakura's waist and let them rest there for a moment. Apparently Bakura was as stunned as Ryou himself, because he stopped screaming. Ryou snapped back to reality and pulled as hard as he could. Yami and hikari went flying backwards and landed in a heap in the living room.

Ryou was about to get up when he stopped short at the sight in front of him. Bakura's face was dark red, from embarrassment or the hot water the hikari didn't know, and his eyes were half closed. For some reason Bakura was panting as well, his mouth half open, and that completed the sexy-as-hell picture of the person that was..laying..on top of him in a very suggestive manner. An unfortunate viewer might look through the broken window and scream 'AAAH! My eyes!' and run away to be emotionally scarred for the rest of his or her life.

Bakura, however, felt his heart speed up a little. Ryou's chocolatey eyes (Which Bakura had always though to be very cute, but being the tomb robber he was didn't say anything about it) were widened and his cheeks were pink, turning tomato red. His hair provided a kind of pillow for him, spread out all over. Ryou was pretty...in that certain girly-but-still-sexy-as-anything way he had.

"Uh..okay. Off now?" Ryou had had enouh of the 'Bakura laying on top of him' bit and was getting a little..uncomfortable, as was Bakura. AN: Hah..uncomfortable..>D

"Yeah, off now. Hey, there's a letter for you in the kitchen. Bakura got off of his hikari rather awkwardly and offered him his hand. Ryou took it, blushing, and pulled himself up. Bakura, however, held on to Ryou's hand as he went into the kitchen. Bakura was leaning against the counter when he felt Ryou try to tug his hand away. "I have to open the letter now, Kura-chan," Ryou explained gently. Bakura let go of his hikari's hand and turned red as he watched Ryou open the letter. It read:

_Dear Ryou and Bakura,_

_I'd like to invite you guys to my house for a few months, as a vacation sort of thing. Please come to 7694 Cherry Avenue at 3 this afternoon andjust letyourselves in. I look forwards to seeing you guys. _

_Ja ne!  
Hibiko_

Bakura looked at the letter. Ryou nodded in astonishment. "She must really trust us, even though we've never met her. She sounds really nice too, I think we should go." Bakura snorted.

"Hikari, how do we know she's safe? She could be an assassin for all we know!" Bakura exclaimed. Ryou sighed and looked at him irritably. "She gave usher housekey, for god's sake. Trust me for once, Bakura." Bakura, to Ryou's surprise, nodded and went upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Ryou called after him. Bakura turned back and looked at his hikari with a 'By-RA-you're-a-dumbass' look on his oh-so-sexy face. "To pack, hikari. It's two thirty, and it takes roughly fifteen inutes to get to Cherry-what-the-hell. So come on."

Ryou slapped himself and went upstairs.

Hibi: What'cha think? Does it need changes? I think it's good even if I do say so myself.

Ryou: Yes, Hibi-chan, it's very nice.

Bakura: You can take this chapter and stick it up your--

Kib: Die, damn you, die! -tackles Bakura-

Muffled thumps and curses--

Hibi: Okay..while RYOU -nudges Ryou, who sighs and goes off to console the yamis- gets that taken care of..Remember people, I run on reviews! Ja ne, minna-san! -waves and runs off to help Ryou-


End file.
